I hate that I’m a Rhaegar apologist, but, since this laid it all out there, I can’t help adding my two cents.
I don’t think Rhaegar’s decision to “run away” with Lyanna was him
abandoning the political narrative; I think it was the culmination of
it.
As the adult Crown Prince, Rhaegar had a significant amount of
influence, but his power would always be trumped by his father’s. He did
not get to chose who he married. Aerys did. And Aerys chose frustrating
Tywin’s ambitions over making a good match for his only adult child.
(And remember Viserys was only two or three when Rhaegar married; there
was probably little hope that he would make it into adulthood.)
For all her personal virtues, Elia Martell was not a good match.
Dorne is culturally and geographically isolated from the rest of
Westeros. Her brothers did not make matches that strengthened their
families ties in a substantial way to any of the other great houses.
Doran married a woman from Essos. Oberyn already had three (bastard)
daughters by the time Rhaegar and Elia were betrothed, making it highly
unlikely that as a second son with his reputation he would ever make a
good match. And, as Aerys would demonstrate in his distaste for his
first grandchild’s appearance, there is definitely some ethnic prejudice
towards the Dornish in Westeros.
Rhaegar marrying Elia gained the crown a firm alliance with only one of the seven kingdoms.
Now the hold of the Targaryen dynasty has been failing since the last
dragon died. To start, there were very few Targaryens left. Aerys in
his madness was fermenting the discord that already existed in the
realm. And men always want more power. After all, if the Targaryens were
now just men, then only the loyalties of other houses of the realm
could keep another Great House from taking the throne. And I think it’s
highly likely that Rhaegar realized he was standing on a political land
mine.
Even if the meeting at Harrenhal had been able to proceed as
planned, Rhaegar would have had to believe completely in the loyalty of
those men to betray his father – and not to use the chaos to usurp his
own claim. And, since Aerys was alerted to the possibility of a revolt,
then it’s unlikely he would have had any of that confidence to proceed
when the meetings fell apart. Worse for Rhaegar still – the tourney at
Harrenhal likely put into even sharper focus how mad his father was
perceived to be, how mad his father was, and how fractured the realm he
hoped to rule was.
I don’t think Rhaegar would have left the tourney feeling as though
not doing something was an option, but I think he would have realized
that the chance of the realm not falling into war were slim. Then Aegon
is born and Elia can no longer bear children.
This changes his perspective. Beyond “the dragon must have three
heads,” there was no guarantee that Aegon would survive infancy, or that
an accident wouldn’t take either of his children. Where his own mother
had miscarried and lost babes again and again, there was always the
possibility that he would one day have a living sibling. Worse, once
Aerys learned of her barrenness, Elia’s position at court could become
uncertain – while she had been used to insult Tywin, Aerys certainly had
no affection for Elia after. It would not be outside the realm of
possibility that Aerys would insist that Rhaegar take another wife or a
mistress to produce more potential heirs. And, if Aerys knew, he would
thus be involved in the process – and there would be no guarantee that
the women he would put forth wouldn’t seek to advance their own standing
and their own children by conspiring against Elia. (There’s also the
chance Aerys might make that leap to mistress or second wife himself.)
So: 1) Alliances for a common cause (usurping a mad King) are off the
table. 2) The crown needed allies to hold the realm together. 3) Elia’s
barrenness would eventually be known. 4) Viserys and Rhaegar’s children
are too young for marriage alliances to be effective. And thus, 5) if
Rhaegar would need to make another marriage alliance, he would need to
chose for himself.
And Lyanna’s the best choice for a second wife. Their connection at
Harrenhal aside, the Stark’s are an old house and wardens of the
largest territory in Westeros. Geographically, this would put allies for
House Targaryen on each end of the kingdom. Better still, Lyanna has
three brothers – one who is engaged to the eldest daughter of House
Tully and the other who fostered with Lord Baratheon at the Vale with
House Arryn. Essentially, the same alliances that ended Targaryen rule
could have been used to hold it together. And what Rhaegar would have
known of Lyanna’s character, if he did come to know her as the Knight of
the Laughing Tree, would have reassured him that she wouldn’t be likely
to conspire against Elia and her children.
It’s worth noting that Lyanna’s ‘abduction’ did not lead to any
Houses revolting. Instead it was the deaths of Brandon Stark, who was on
the way to his wedding to Catelyn Tully when he veered off to King’s
Landing to call Rhaegar out, and Rickard Stark, who either remained at
Winterfell or rode on to Riverrun following Lyanna’s abduction, that
preceded the rebellion. And it was King Aerys calling for Ned’s (who had
remained in the Vale) and Robert’s heads that led to Jon Arryn
condoning the calling of banners. In short, it was when Aerys unjustly
calling for an end of one of the great houses that caused the war.
Now, if this was the path that Rhaegar took, he misjudged three
things: 1) Brandon’s location and what that would mean for his ability
to reign in his temper, 2) the influence of the Small Council on Aerys
to minimize any of his reactions, and 3) Robert’s feelings for himself*
and Lyanna, in spite of the fact that he was going around fathering
bastards.
(*I don’t think this gets examined enough. Robert is Rhaegar’s second
cousin. Robert’s parents died looking for a wife for Rhaegar in Essos.
And so forth.)
I also don’t think that Rhaegar could sue for peace once the war
started. He needed to be winning if there was any hope for a Targaryen
dynasty after the war. And I also think that it’s very possible that
Lyanna was bedridden through much of her pregnancy – because she was in
danger of miscarrying from either a shock or illness. Because their
child, the embodiment of joining their houses, could have brought
stability and peace to the realm had it all gone more to plan.